i don’t remember much of it, but there was this overwhelming sense of how much you loved me, we loved each other, we loved everything. the colors were so bright and your teeth were so pronounced, and all i remember is the way your laugh made my skin vibrate and your smile made me remember how much i loved you. and we went to mcdonalds, and i was so distracted by you that I ordered something, even though I haven’t eaten mcdonalds in over five years, and you remembered and yelled at me but wouldn’t let me take my order back and you put your hand over my mouth and crushed me into your body and told me you’d bite me if i didn’t behave. and i giggled and squirmed away. and we were walking down a street and bumping hips and you grabbed my butt, and i twisted away, literally dancing away from you on my toes. i felt weightless. i told you to stop it. you said ‘why have a butt if not for me to grab?’ and i swatted you away and told you to find your own butt to grab.
and you’re so far away right now, and i don’t know if i’m ever going to get back to that place. i wonder about you. if you’re lost. if you’re the same, if you want to talk to me, if you miss me. and i wish you knew that i didn’t ever suspect that i’d love you like i do, but that i do love you. i wish i said it. you made everything so exciting.
